That's Not All, Folks...

It's a strange time, the first few minutes of the day. Sunday mornings are the best for it; that fuzzy, lethargic feeling between deciding you don't want to sleep any more and summoning the energy or inclination to actually get up. Sometimes the oddest conversations occur in these little procrastinatory moments. It was just such a circumstance this morning that lead the Red Pants of Justice and Mata Hari into a discussion about the sex life of the Flintstones.

OK, so it wasn't exactly pillow talk at it's most romantic or highbrow. Goodbye F. Scott and Zelda, hello Fred and Wilma. And perverse though it may seem to want to corrupt such squeaky clean, post-Eisenhower wholesomemness with talk of, well, 'it', what red blooded male hasn't looked at Betty Rubble sometime and at least, you know, wondered....

Leaving aside the details of that particular riff (although I maintain Hanna Barbera missed the chance to teach a valuable lesson by not giving Wilma post-partem depression after Pebbles arrived) it did remind me of a subject that has long held a fascination for me: the salacious history of cartoon censorship. I don't mean those scratchy reels of hand-drawn hardcore that were once popular novelties for stag nights and shore leave, or even the full-on animated sex and violence of Japanese Manga. No, I'm talking about something much more dark and subversive, but as true a part of cinema history as Jack Warner and Pathe news.

Would you believe me if I said Bugs Bunny's willy?

I'm sorry. I should have given a bit more warning before I said that. Bugs Bunny doesn't have anything down there in front, you say? Isn't he just round underneath like a teddy bear? What dirt, what filth, what fabrication. Except, well, he did - at least in the Loony Tunes cartoon where he emerges from the bath and wraps a towel round his middle, revealing, for the briefest of moments, a little rabbitty penis.

This is far from the only example of how mischevous animators suffused the great cartoons of yesterear with risque in-jokes. These little acts of sabotage were usually no more than a game, to see how far they could go without being discovered, but just ocasionally the intention was more malicious. There is a scene in Disney's 'The Rescuers' in which two of the main characters walk past an old shop window, behind which, for two frames, is a cutout from Hustler magazine. This remained undiscovered until the film was released on video in the early 1990s, and Disney was forced to withdraw every copy after a series of complaints from furious parents. It later transpired that the animator in question was laid off during the film's production, and inserted them as a parting act of revenge.

On one or two occasions, the gags were so blatant that one can only baffle at how they weren't picked up the censor. For instance, in the Warner Brother's cartoon, 'An Itch in Time,' there is a scene in which a troublesome dog has his tail set on fire, and drags his hind quarters across the floor to put the flames out. Mid-yelp, he turns to the audience and says, "Hey, I better cut this out, or I might get to like it!"

This seditious practise continued well into the 1980s and 90s, most infamously in a scene from 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' when Jessica Rabbit is thrown from a car and rolls over a few times before coming to a halt on the pavement - revealing, for a split-second, that she wasn't wearing underwear. This particular case has since attained the status of an urban myth, albeit a perfectly true one. When interviewed for a TV documentary a couple of years ago, the animator responsible explained, somewhat sheepishlly, "I had no idea the inking department would leave in my loving details."

I won't go any further. That's quite enough psychological trauma for one post. I shan't dwell upon Elmer Fudd's wet dream, Sylvester the Cat's sleeping pill addiction or the numrous racial stereotypes that make dozens of old cartoons unbroadcastable today. Chief among these is the frankly disturbing WW2-era cartoon, 'Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips,' in which Bugs cheerfully murders a succession of Japanese soldiers in imaginative ways, such as handing out hand grenades disguised as ice cream cones, exclaiming "Here's one for you, monkeyface. Here y'are, slanty-eyes. Everybody gets one!" Not something you're likely to see on Cartoon Network any time soon.

Oh the innocence of times past. Perhaps I'll remember that the next time someone complains about the immorality of South Park...